Mulla Maghrib Talk Show: Batil Chingar, Grave Seller- Part 3 (Last)

Posted by on Dec 9th, 2015 and filed under Columns, Recent Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

talkshow logoWELCOME back readers, viewers, and listeners to Mulla Maghrib Show.
We will continue interviewing our guest Mr. Batil Chingar.

[Intro: Mr. Chingar is unique in many ways. He is one of the most respectful members of the community and highly rewarded by Ms. Whisky.

Mr. Chingar is ex-President and ex-Vice President of Masjid Abu Salam. Currently, he is the salesperson of Muslim graves. His finest contribution to the community is that he has discovered a community from the ruins of Lut (A.). He has now empowered them and imposed them upon the Muslim community. He will always be remembered from the present hell (world) to the next hell (hereafter) for his extra ordinary services. He is eternal, unforgettable and unforgivable.

Note: Every character of this column/Talk Show is fictitious and imaginative. The writer and publisher are not responsible for any accidental similarity with the real persons or incidents.

Mulla: We are talking about Abul Haqaiq Aala’s point of view. He will disagree with you.

Chingar: I know. He dissents. He thinks from Maududi’s mind. I have asked him on numerous occasions to meet. Unfortunately he has always ignored me. Although several times I have seen him arguing even with the Imams to whom I briefed on Canadian political and social issues on. Furthermore, they are at the same page with me on those issues. Please ask him to meet up with me and discuss matters before arguing with the Imams.

Mulla: Abul Haqaiq said that the three most important issues and challenges the Canadian society facing today are; First, worshiping the human desires and lusts, Second, the act of Nation of Lut (A); sexual perversion, and gender confusion, Third, Usury, Interest based economy and he says that Muslims have one responsibility to convey the message of Islam and Quran to the Canadian nation; nothing more, nothing less. Do you disagree?

Chingar: Off course! I disagree. We have now Canadian Charter of Rights of Freedoms. We have to correct ourselves according to this Charter.

Mulla: So do you think that Quran is an “obsolete” document and Charter of Rights has overridden it?

Chingar: Yes and No. No in the sense that Quran is a religious book and it will remain till Qiyamah. It is the book we have to follow in private and religious matters. But, when it comes to the public, social and political life, yes! We have to follow the modern trend and world view. That’s why The Charter of Rights and Freedoms matter and provides us clear guidelines of how to live in the modern Canadian era.

Mulla: How do you differentiate your views with Mr. Tarik Shikast? Some started saying that you both have similar viewpoints.

Chingar: No! Tarik Shikast doesn’t belong to any Masjid and/or Islamic Center. No one endorses him. I have endorsement of several Muftis and some prominent Imams. Mr. Shikast is against Islamic Centers and Masajid, I am not.

Mulla: But by separating private and public life and believing that Islam has nothing to do with our public life, your views are similar to his.

Chingar: Yes! In that sense, I agree. But in my opinion, we have to make our Masjid, Islamic, we have to make our home, Islamic. On this point, we have some differences.

Mulla: Your opponents and several of your past friends are now blaming you that you are Straightophobe. What do you say in your defense?

Chingar: I failed to understand your question. Straightophobe? What does that means?

Mulla: It is said that you never supported any straight person or heterosexual to be precise in the whole of your political life career. You always support a person from the ruin of Nation of Lut (A.) in Canadian politics and you always oppose the straights. That’s why they say that you are straightophobe. In simple language, it is the terminology used opposite of homophobe. It is an antonym of homophobe.

Chingar: Well! I got it. But I don’t know how to explain. Yes! I supported the previous MP from our Western Valley for 20 years. Off course I realize He was from the ruins of Nation of Lut (A.) Mrs Whisky who contested first time for MPP was my discovery. She is a prominent member of the same nation. She is too much engaged and has worked shoulder to shoulder with our community. I love her style of integration, outreach, her commitment for activism and multiculturalism. As a matter of fact, I can’t seem to deny any request from her. I follow her request as an order and as an obligation to me.

Mulla: But when the previous MP decided not to contest further, you were the first to announce that you are contesting Liberal nomination election from Toronto Western Valley. You started membership campaign for the Liberal party in the Masjid Abu Salam asking for votes from the community. But later on you were asking to vote for Mr. Paap Elephant. What was the reason of withdrawing from the contest and ultimately supporting Mr. Elephant?

Chingar: The reason my friend is love and my kind heart. I told you that I follow every request of Mrs. Whisky as an order and obligation to me. She had asked me to withdraw my name from the nomination contest and she asked to support Mr. Elephant.
I did it. I simply obeyed her.

Mulla: But why have you sacrificed your political career for Mr. Elephant?

Chingar: Mulla Bhai! You know there was no certainty that I could win the nomination election. Even if I could win nomination, I was not sure that I, as a brown, look like black, new immigrant, and Muslim could win the general election. On the other hand Ms. Whiskey was guaranteeing me a secured job and Mr. Elephant was promising to help my Charity organization for an old age care centre.

Mulla: I was there for Mr. Elephant’s the victory speech. After winning the nomination for Liberal party he thanked two people; first his (her) husband and second you; Mr. Chingar. I saw your joyful face on that day. You were practically, in a dancing mood. Do you have any comment or memory of that day that you would like to share?

Chingar: Yes! That was a big achievement for me. I was so very happy that day.

Mulla: But, Mr. Bejahaz from our Muslim community was also contesting the nomination. How did you get most of the Muslim Liberal votes for your candidate?

Chingar: It is better not to talk about Mr. Bejahaz. You know in the Urdu language there is a proverb that goes “Begane Ki Shadi Mein Abdullah Diwana.” He was jumping into an alien’s marriage. I believe he learned the lesson of his life.

Mulla: How were you able to acquire the community’s votes for Mr. Paap Elephant? I have seen the long queue. Several of them were in long beards and women in niqab. I know some of them were active relegious members who were voting for your candidate.

Chingar: You are right. It was a nomination election. I told them that voting for Mr. Paap Elephant means voting for Batil Chingar. And voting for Mr. Bejhaz is wasting your precious vote. Most of them don’t know and never asked about lifestyle and other meager inquisitions. Once we won the nomination election, it was easy to win the General election. Now, all was left was to do negative campaigning. We campaigned against the Conservative. The Conservative Party is anti Muslim, anti Islam, anti Immigrant and anti Masjid, and we won the election. I told our community if the Conservatives will win they will occupy our Masjid and ban your entry. It worked, it always works. So you don’t need to tell a great deal about the Liberal candidate.

I also promised the voters to provide MP letters to for issuing visit visas and expediting other visas. I promise to make available our community’s favorite Islamic scholars from back home in the month of Ramadhan. So now our job is easy. In the last federal election we lost the election because our Liberal leadership failed at the national level. Now, we won again under the leadership of Justice.

Mulla: My Christian neighbor once told me that he read somewhere that Toronto Western Valley is the friendliest riding for the ruin of nation of Lut (A) on this earth. Do you agree?

Chingar: Yes! And that’s because of us. That is because of my teacher in politics Mr. Abba Bhai Chatel as well as our Muslim community of Toronto Western Valley. Ms Whisky recognizes it and Mr. Elephant admits it. We have the history of supporting the people who were ignored and suppressed. If you venture in to Islamic history, you will see that when the Jews were not getting any support and a place to live, we the Muslims invited them and provided them land to live on. Read the history of Baghdad, Turkey, Spain, Palestine, and other lands.

Mulla: It is interesting to note. You have deep historic knowledge and Islamic perspective when you reflect upon something.

Chingar: Thank you Mulla Bhai!

Mulla: You are welcome. Now let us talk on the issue of sex-ed curriculum, New Accepting Education Act, washroom Bill, Challenging Homophobia and Hetrosexism: A K-12 Resource Guide and Accommodation Guide of transgender students and staff. Parents complain that the government is making laws and developing curriculum, by ignoring parents, by ignoring traditional family values, by ignoring religious values. They are complaining that Parents were not consulted for changing curriculum and bringing radical sex ed. Curriculum. Parents are withdrawing their children from public schools and looking for alternate private schools. What do you say on these issues?

Chingar: First of all it is false propaganda that Parents were not consulted furthermore, it is also wrong to say that sex education is not beneficial. I will state with confidence that it is wrong and accusatory. Ms Whisky herself consulted me on this matter along with Mr. Paap Raffeeeq, Mr Peg, Brother Mardood, Mr. Chankiya, Ms Jadu Jaanlewa and several others. I am committed not to disclose the names but several prominent Imams have also endorsed it. And you Mulla Bhai know them very well.

The matter is that our community is not enlightened. They are ignorant. They don’t read a great deal. Ms Whisky shared with us all the necessary documents. These documents are based on the long involvement of LGBT Think tanks, several R&Ds, Transgender’ Human Rights Groups and Charity Organizations. It contains a vast number of resources. It was quite impressive enlightening for us. We came to know several of it aspects for the first time. This is what we have been looking for since long. If you know some parents that have any objections ask them to sit with me, I will educate them on sex ed.

Mulla: I am sorry. The subjects need lengthy discussion but we have a limited time slot. Perhaps we can discuss on the issue some other time. But, please tell us in brief, the enlightened part of the sex ed curriculum and other related documents.

Chingar: Sure! First of all, Sex-ed curriculum and other related documents will facilitate the same-sex marriage in the country. It will teach children that same sex marriage is as normal as opposite sex marriage. We already have Federal laws for same sex marriage since 2005, Second; it will serve the purpose of Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Third; Sex ed is too graphic and that is very important in modern education system. A pictorial presentation is more effective and easy to memorize and learn rather than thousands of words in texts. Fourth; it starts too early. Our public education experts and teachers will teach our children at a too early age that we can’t imagine how to teach these young ones. Fifth; a majority of traditional family parents are too shy and too backwards to teach sex ed to their own children. We should be thankful to the Ministry and School Boards that they are taking charge of teaching those sensitive subjects. Sixth; this is the best way to control the population growth. Seven;

Mulla: I am sorry! Mr. Chingar! Our time is almost over. Can you please tell us the number one or the top most benefit we as a Muslim and immigrant community will be benefited from the sex ed curriculum and other related documents. You have just 30 seconds to one minute.

Chingar: I will say that the Canadian population control is the key component of the document. That means Canada will need more and more immigrants every year to sustain the population and running things smoothly. Here, in Canada we will have a chance. Canada will open the doors for our brothers and sisters of our native country who are eagerly waiting to come to Canada, their dreamland.

Mulla: It is brilliant. You are amazing. Thank you! Mr. Chingar. I will again invite you in Mulla Maghrib show after few months to discuss in detail on this and other issues.

Chingar: Thank you for having me and it will be my pleasure to come again.

Mulla: Good night

Mulla Maghrib can be reached at

NOTE: Our next show is with Mr. Tarik Shikast, a prominent versatile Pak-Saudi-Canadian personality. Don’t forget to watch.

Mr. Chingar-1

Mr. Chingar -2

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